I've always been pretty happy with my chosen profession so I can't offer much advice. But I think you're doing it right - talking to people you trust and soul searching. It may be painful but it will pay off in the end, I believe.
Have fun in Vegas!

Yes..it all makes sense. I know ALOT of attorneys that don't practice the law but do many other things and enjoy what they do. They started in a law firm, moved in-house, then moved to other areas within a corporation or non-profit. What you learned in law school (and I don't necessarily mean the law) is applicable in many other jobs. Soul searching is GOOD...trust yourself...you will find your passion!

Good luck with your search. Isn't it funny how long we can go before we realize these things? I've made a series of changes over the past few years... changing roles within my company, moving to a different state and finding a different job, and now I've realized that it isn't enough and I'm going back to school for something completely new. Each decision is scary (and my current one is terrifying) but when I look back, I'm so glad I did them.

Well, I STILL don't know what I want to be when I grow up, so you probably don't want advice from me! My husband bailed out of law school (hated it) then ended up spending most of his life doing essentially real estate law...go figure. He'd have made a great lawyer, too. As for the geography, you have a point, and maybe the inability to move right now is part of the answer. You could always have (ducking) a baby or two till you decide! Have a great trip!

I think that most people go through some degree of career related angst at some point. For me the biggest turning point came rather early when a former boss told me that she liked me and my work but couldn't imagine that I'd be happy there forever. Wasn't there something else I'd rather do?

That's how I got to grad school where I became a law librarian (and found many attorneys who'd decided that the practice of law just wasn't for them). I'm still not exactly where I ultimately want to be but I'm a lot closer now. My advice is to think about the things, in general, that you enjoy doing and build from there. Good luck!

One of the hardest questions - what we want to do with our lives. I'm still not sure. If you find that test that tells you what you should be - let me know!! There are so many facets to the law profession - maybe there is a forum or group out on the 'net that may be able to answer some of your questions? I'm going through a time right now where I really just stay at my job to pay the bills. It's ok. My boss is great, but the work is not for me. But, with my husband in school full time, I really have to just stick it out for now. Sacrifice....

I hope something knocks at your door or hits you over the head - that "ah ha" moment will come - hopefully soon!

Have fun in Vegas!!!!!

hhmmm, yes, there does appear to be this sentiment going around in blogland (or at least the knit blogs that i read!) the funny thing is is that i feel the same way. what with a baby on the way and weird changes going on at work, i'm not sure where i want to take my career (or my job as it is.. there really is no career here.) i'm feeling a little lost but i have a feeling that life in general will clear up a lot of the confusion along the way. basically, i feel what you're going through. thankfully, there's always knitting!

Love THE rodeo. My husband and i got lucky enough to snag 4th row seats in the middle a couple years back, for free!! Man we had dirt kicked in our face, could smell the horse and cow sweat. it was great. have fun.

Many lawyers I know have stepped back from the law or found other outlets to use their knowledge. May you find something that will fill your soul. Being open to opportunity is your best advantage. Enjoy your time in LV...sounds like fun!

I've been in my profession now almost 20 years; it was a second career (the first one went through the graduate degree, then I switched professions). I knew from the first day I'm in the right place (even as I failed quizzes right and left my first semester).
I also realized this year that I need something more, not to replace my profession, but will put it out of center and change my perspective.
Taking a year off is not a bad idea. Having friends you can talk to, discern with, is a very good.
Nothing is worth spending all your life on something that isn't right. Good discerning!
Judith (PhD to MD to deacon)

Oh, I feel for you! I don't have much more advice other than what I've already offered, but hang in there. I found that one day, I just knew. The day before I knew, I felt a lot like you do now, so keep plugging away, it will come.

Hiding under the bed doesn't get nearly the attention it deserves! :)

Have a great time in LV!

Oh I feel your pain right now. I have been searching and trying to figure out what to do...go back to school...but for what. Anyway, I got a job offer and I am taking it! This will be a huge adjustment for me...but I need it now. My DH's contract abruptly stopped and he is searching for something else...we were about to relocate when I got the offer...so here we will happily stay. My sister had a similar problem in law...she decided to go with whatever it is that deals with insurance companies...you know the term. She likes it...maybe that is an area you could explore?

Do we find happiness in the career or within ourselves? I have struggled with that question for many years and I am no closer to that answer than I was when I first posed it.

I know very few people who remain passionate about their career. I had a friend who did fit in that category. He would work 12-14 hour days at his own Property Management company and loved it. He could have hired more associates but he just loved it. At 21, their son died of an arrhythmia (never can spell this) while in his dorm room. It was unexpected and unexplainable. The fire went out and he sold the business.

So how do you explain the original passion. The happiness inside, the work or the interplay of both?

I like my job but don't love it. I always seem to be wanting more. Not sure what that 'more' is. The definition is very elusive. Can I find that place for peace within or search some more?

Wow did you strike a cord in many of us.

I'm sorry you're in this place right now but I have every confidence you'll work through it. Because sooner or later the disappointing and disenchanted parts of our life start to seep into the good parts of our life. Not now - but eventually. Good for you for recognizing something's missing. That's the first step always.

I think one of the difficulties with practicing law is it *is* such a broadly applicable skill. My friends in corporate meander over into real estate, the criminal lawyers burn out on litigation and switch to contract law until bored, etc.

I trained to become a professional musician from the moment I could clamber up onto the piano bench, then got sick when I was 17 and lost the use of my left arm. I've spent the 27 years since trying to find and/or make my place in the world and, surprisingly, finding great happiness.

Maybe it's time to make lists of goals, priorities, expectations, and fears. My FIL's latest book actually has some relevance in this, Success Built to Last.

I used to dislike phases of transition like what you are experiencing, but I've learned to embrace change. As my DH says, "Ride the wave!"
Good luck, and I'm totally jealous that you're going to the rodeo!

You sell yourself short -- it was a well written and thoughtful post! I totally understand your struggle -- not knowing whether you truly love what you're doing, but also not being sure what other options there are. I've struggled with this all year (down to the minute differentiation between loving the law but not the practice of law, although with me, it's music). Hang in there... I feel confident that eventually, things will sort themselves out (I'm still waiting for my solution, so this is the blind leading the blind).

I understand the distinction. I was a paralegal when I lived in PA. First for a domestic violence agency and then for legal services. When I moved to CA, I promptly dropped myself into a family law practice. I HATED it. Maybe it was just the attorney I worked for or maybe it was the "business" of it. Sure, I still "helped" people, but I often felt dirty at the end of the day. One day, I took a day off, signed up at a temp agency and gave my notice.

Ask yourself what it is you love about the law. Start there. Will your job allow you to have another? If you want to start your own practice, can you hang your shingle in the evenings and weekends just to test the waters? Or perhaps go part time.

I have never been a "career" person. I was a legal secretary in another life but for the past 14 1/2 years have been a stay at home mom. And I know that can be said to be a career but if I had to go out and find a job to support the family, there wouldn't be many options available to me. Anyway, I do have a "career" husband that has known and dealt with lots of high powered people. It is so difficult to find a job that a person can absolutely love. My husband has been blessed to have 2 jobs that he absolutely loves. We comment frequently that it is a rarity. I wish I had the answer for you. I do not think you are selfish to search for something that will be fulfilling. You have spent a good deal of time and money for the career you are in and you deserve to be in a place that completely and totally satisfies you. I hope you find it!

I completely understand loving law but not loving the practice; I worry that I love physical therapy, but when I'm done with 8 years of schooling, won't love the practice. Maybe this is your year to contemplate and have the freedom to talk to others about different aspects of law in an effort to find something that fits. In the end, make the change if nothing makes you passionate, as Cara over at Januaryone.com says, making a change is NOT quitting, it's recognizing you need something different. My thoughts are with you in this struggle...

I always try to do something that helps others as much as possible, and makes a better world. Of course it has to be something you like doing and you have to like the people you work with, or work for, or are helping, etc. If you know what you want in life, then you can figure out what you need to do to have it. Since most people's jobs take up most of their time, it's important to do something you actually enjoy and feel good about. There is no point in carrying on with a job that you really don't enjoy, even if it is in a field that you do like. Maybe if you sort out exactly what you love about law, you can figure out what area you would like to work in. I hope you figure it out and decide on something that makes you happy. :)

gosh...i wish i could get you to see the people i have been seeing recently. they have helped me so much and i know they would for you too. they offer all sorts of ideas and solutions that we often can't see by ourself.

take your time to slowly think things through...and if you need to talk you know i am around.

I think the reason this topic is popping up in knitting blogs is because knitters are creative people. We enjoy creating things and feel a real sense of fullfillment when we look at our FO's - our accomplishments. We are never bored with knitting because there is always a new challenge. Knitters challenge and inspire each other and give to each other. So . . .a regular career (business,etc.) just doesn't hold the same creative outlet/challenge. If only we could all just open great little knitting shops (and still make the money we make in our "regular" jobs!) Just know you certainly aren't alone in your feelings - enjoy Vegas!

Steph-- I totally understand where you are coming from.. and I'm sure there are lots of others out there as well! I think you have the right mindset overall. So many people believe that they have no options if they are unhappy with their job... at least you have reached that far! I think the creative folk in the world have a hard time in general being told to sit behind a desk from 9-5 and do x. For me, I felt like an ant in the world and very unimportant, no matter what the job was that I was doing. I think you should embrace whatever it is you want to try doing... maybe while still working just to see if things click. Everything happens for a reason, I'm a firm believer in that. You are so strong and will make it through the rough batches-- I have no doubt about that! In the meantime, enjoy Vegas and just know that it will all work out in the end :) Lots of hugs..

It's good to hear that you are pondering possibilities - that means that you won't settle for "less than happy" (which is good that you won't)
So many ways to move thru this time - it is one that many of us have faced, and hiding under the bed always sounds like a grand idea.
The Power of Intention by W. Dyer is a pretty good book, and might be helpful to your process.
We're all rooting for you - enjoy your brief vacation.

I have a good friend whose husband is in private legal practice, and DH's uncle is, also. (Both have their own offices.) They both work incredible hours, and it's an amazing hard row to hoe. My friend's husband went into law to help people--and while he hasn't regretted helping people, it has not been enjoyable. There is an incredibly amount of ugliness and hate that rears its head in private law practice. Ditto with DH's uncle, except that he has a tendency to take on cases for people who have a hard time paying his fees, so their income isn't what it might be.

Contrast that with a friend in another town whose husband is a member of a lawfirm, and a contract lawyer for Coldwater Creek. (He writes and keeps track of their leases.) 9-5 on weekdays, low-stress, normal job. His family is stable, and I've never heard a peep about job-related stress or trouble. (I'm sure he has deadlines and stress--it's just not written all over his face all of the time.)

I would highly recommend talking to a number of private practice lawyers, as well as to attorneys who have been in private practice in the past.

Good luck in your search . . . and could we get direct links to the posts that were so significant to you? I love reading those kinds of blog entries. My favorite ever is Steph's recent one about taking credit for our work: http://www.yarnharlot.ca/blog/archives/2006/10/24/in_the_woods.html

Best of luck to you. :o)

Sounds like a time of soul searching. Hopefully the weekend away will be good and refreshing.

I hear your pain. I'm an attorney who knits. I also love the law, in fact, I loved law school. But the practice of law is not quite what I imagined. I worked for a few years as a public defender, which always puts interesting cases at your doorstep. I was in court every day and always on my toes. But I felt like I wasn't really working with the law, just lots and lots of facts. So I took a gig at at an appellate court to try out appellate work. Now my job is law-intensive and you'd think I'd be happy. But sitting in my office all day, with just me and my computer is killing me. I miss human interaction!

My job ends next fall so I've got to figure it out. I feel like there's got to be some happy medium out there, but I'm just not sure what it is or how to find it. Of course, I also want to avoid working long hours (must have knitting time) and I'd like to work somewhere that I can feel good about, which basically eliminates most firms. I'm not sure what the answer is and I know I'm not helping you none whatsoever. But just know, there are others out there in the same dilemma as you!

Those same posts struck a chord with me for the same reasons, Steph. It is a soul-searching process, one that I am going through myself. If you wanna chat about it (when you get back) lemme know. I love getting emails from you ;)

Best wishes for a fun time in Vegas~

well I'm sure the right thing is out there, I'm pretty sure it's a yarn store/law practice. I could be your secretary and store clerk. But then I can't really relocate now either.

It'll happen, just give it time. Sometimes the best things come to those that wait. (or so my mother is constantly telling me)

Have a great time in Las Vegas.

As someone who successfully practiced law (and enjoyed it) for ten years and then decided to drastically change careers to fulfill other dreams, all I can tell you is: Think long and hard about it, and once you make your decision just DO IT. It's your life. No fear, and no regrets, ever :-)

Just the fact that you're thinking and looking and questioning should give you a little peace - the right thing will come in its time, if you're open to receiving it when it does.

I spent the past 5 years searching for the right place to land after leaving accounting. Literally, 5 years ago I sat for the LSAT (12/1/01), a few months later I applied for the Peace Corps, got in, didn't go, got into law school, didn't go (incidentally, I completely understand the fine distinction you speak of, I would have LOVED law school, but not the practice of law ;) jumped from job to job to job each time scooting a little closer to my vision of what I wanted it to be.

It's about the journey, not the destination. You're smart, and thoughtful and talented and passionate. You'll find your way, have faith :)

Loving the information part rather than practicing - that realization in itself is monumental, I think. You'll figure it out. The Law Librarian thing sounded interesting. Wonder if you'd like to teach Law? You are good at doing tutorials.

wow...i feel like i just read something i wrote myself. i've been at my job for 6 years and have probably been unhappy for 4-5 of those years. it has been painful to stay here while waiting to get clarity about what my next step should be. i think i was waiting for that "perfect" thing to come along, but does perfect ever really happen? i don't know if it helps, but i recently decided what my next step will be -- in 3 months i'm leaving the city and moving back to the my home town in the country where i'll go back to school and complete medical school prerequisites. i have an MPH and work in public health so it is still in the same field, but it is a huge step for a lot of reasons. i hate that i had to wait so long but i finally feel clear and excited about my future career prospects! i'm scared to death about making such a drastic change in my life, but i'm grateful i took the time to sit in the discomfort and wait for the answer to come to me. i'm sure you'll get the information you need when the time is right!

have fun at the nfr! i just got back from vegas and got to see rounds 4 and 5. I had a blast! i spent way too much money shopping at the bazaars (as hard as i tried i couldn't resist buying a very expensive pair of cowboy boots...)!

I'm always wondering how much of my sense of self and sense of purpose should come from my career and how much from other things. I love my job (most days), but I also spend more than 75% of my waking hours there, and I'm pretty sure it's not 75% of my satisfaction. . . . Have a great time in Vegas. Maybe the distractions will make everything clearer when you come back.

Steph, I've been practicing law in a small community for 24 years- in a 2 or 3 man firm except for 1 year solo. I understand PERFECTLY what you mean by loving the law but not the practice of it. I do a great deal of domestic relations law and juvenile law. By far the most rewarding part of it is representing children as their guardian ad litems. Unfortunately, the stte of Virginia pays for this like it does for court appointed criminal counsel: only slightly over 1/4 of my normal hourly rate, making it impossible for me to do full-time. Lately I've found myself disliking what I'm doing more and more. Although this is not a solution to that problem, I've been taking steps to become involved in more volunteer work, specifically literacy programs. Unfortunately, I'm not at a place, financially, where I can just walk away from the law. I'm hoping that the volunteer work will fill some hole that I seem to have inside. I don't believe it has to do with the rest of my life, because I have the world's best husband, 2 grown children who are married and doing well, and 4 wonderful grandchildren. There's a place inside that cries out for us to accomplish something in our professsional lives that fulfills us. I also think that all aspects of the law tend to make us burn out after a while. Do you know many lawyers who have been in practice for 20 or plus years who still love their jobs? I don't. Maybe the fact that we work longer now than 40 0r 50 years ago has something to do with it. Who retires at 65 anymore? I'm sure you'll find your answer.

It is definitely possible to come out the other side of where you are. If you want to talk more about it, email me.

Work defines us so much, whether we want it to or not. I totally relate to the geographic limitations you are describing, having them here myself. Have you considered what you could do as a consultant, involving part at home and part travel? This could allow you to expand your love of the law into something related. Everyone left such good comments that your post has helped ME in my agonizing over working three different part-time jobs... thanks, grrl. I am envious of your trip to the NFR, have a great time.

well, i think we all have periods where our careers make us feel this way. but it seems to really be something bigger for you...maybe if you love the law you could try teaching at a law school. that way you will be teaching fresh faced young lawyers to be, who also share your love of the law and are not yet jaded by the practice of law. you mentioned once that you want to open a yarn store, maybe there is something to that. you are getting experience now working in one...and i know many small business owners and creative minded people who made a second career out of their passion and gave up the draining careers they had their formal education in (law, accounting, medicine, etc). oh, and there is a test to see what you are suited for, i forget the name, but took it in college when i was feeling confused. it told me to be a floral designer, and now i am a nurse...so go figure...but maybe ask a school counselor for the name of the test...
best wishes!